On most occasions I look at myself with disgust and disappointment knowing that the vivid truths that linger inside my heart were not acted out the way I desire them to be. God has always been there in every act of sin he rests there like a baby bird trusting his mother will bring food to the nest. Even through my deepest, dirtiest thoughts he sits and waits for an invitation to come and walk with me through the dim lighted rooms and listen to my cry of despair from the blinding lies I have listened too from the worlds lips. He never questions my motives but instead brings compassion to the core of my being and delivers my mistrust with wisdom and fearless love knowing that my mind is in a temporary state. "Wholeness is brokenness owned and thereby healed," he speaks over me while I pace through my thoughts hoping to adhere my pain and make it be acceptable for the actions I display. He grows me in the night, while I settle down to my place of rest he leads me back into the regions that I have made difficult for entry and so he teleports me instead and shows the bygone thoughts I said adieu too so that I could pilgrimage forward into new land. He doesn't forget much like my imperfect mind though and shows me that moving forward must mean turning back to unfertilized grounds to help root the past with present thus paving the future for my desirable life, the life God gave me freely, so I can choose to love and fight for his truth in everything I do not forgetting that I am abba's child, and I am loved.
Lately I have really let God show me his truth in my life and let his love wash over me and make me new. I daily ask the hard questions to God about my pain, about my loss and about my misdirection, but he continues to grow me through that despite my doubts, despite my anger, and despite my weakness. He asks me to listen, so I pause and wait for his glory and direction to reign over my night and over my day.
-Beloved
-M
No comments:
Post a Comment