Moss.

Loss is frightening,
it is quite heightening,
Loss forgets about delighting.

Loss is like moss,
seeps underground,
with time grows all over you.

It wears different colors,
likes to be bothered.
It feels everything,
and nothing at all.

It comes and go's,
will teach you to cope,
to not forget hope.

 Loss has a beginning,
and if you let it,
no end.

-M




  

Stages.

I wish you were here to see who I have become.

I wish you could see the holes and fill them with your full hands and big smile.

I wish you would be the one to hold my heart when I have lost who I am, because you always understood the true parts of me.

I wish you would settle me, encourage me, and teach me to fight for people who would fight for me.

I wish you could help me understand more of this love thang, I have a hard time trusting myself in it.

I wish you could hug him.

Tell him how loved he is and will always be,
You were so good at that.

I hope that you see me, living my life day by day and embracing people as much as my heart can take.

I hope you see me being imperfect, but fighting for more.

I know you are proud.

I know you would love him.

I know you wish all these things too...

-M

A long time ago.

When I was younger;
I saw your face,
I went my own way,
I came to realize its not all a game.

When I was younger;
I began to pray,
you went away,
I figured out how to be okay.

When I became older;
I cried when needed,
I held tight to what seeded,
found out some meaning.

Now that I am older,
I feel way more,
I forgive a little faster,
I think on when I was younger,
to cope with all the unknowns.

-M

I'll be your guide.

There are many songs.
There are only a few songs that come at me like a runaway train.
They remind me how to feel, to never stop accessing those parts of myself that got me to where I am, right now.
I am thankful for those songs, without them, I might forget just how to stop. And listen.


"Passenger Seat"

I roll the window down
And then begin to breathe in
The darkest country road
And the strong scent of evergreen
From the passenger seat as you are driving me home.

Then looking upwards
I strain my eyes and try
To tell the difference between shooting stars and satellites
From the passenger seat as you are driving me home.

"do they collide?" 
I ask and you smile.
With my feet on the dash
The world doesn't matter.

When you feel embarrassed then i'll be your pride
When you need directions then i'll be the guide
For all time. 
For all time.

-Death Cab for Cutie

-M