Last Minute.

When I think of this last year, I think of the last minute moments. 

  The in-between, unplanned moments where my team and I would connect, create, or care for each other.  I have had the pleasure of being a part of some of the coolest last minute ideas. Whether it be brainstorming our next social media campaign, or laughing our heads off in the middle of the allatoona. I have felt it all. I look at all the good and think to myself, " How could I leave this?" I don't know really. This will be the first big decision I will make to change my direction, and I am scared. I calm my doubts by saying " it's just a job." I am too smart to actually think that. It's a routine, a friendship, a future. Am I foolish? Will I regret this? I don't know. My head and my heart have decided for me. It has been one of the most exhausting years of my life. Besides the one where my mom passed. There has been some serious growth in every area and for that I will be eternally grateful for Reformation in my life. It has challenged me more than anything else in my life, it has been a pleasure to watch a dream be made. 

  

  Should I stay Or Should I go? That I do not know. 

-M

Grateful

Choices. 

We all have them. Daily, every second of everyday. We are constantly having to fight for the hard ones, defend the bad ones and surrender to the good ones. We are delicately tip-toeing on a tight rope of choosing what can satisfy our stability. I never knew choosing could feel so conflicting, and that the act of it would cause plenty of exhales. There are many that I wish my brain batteries were fully charged for, because maybe if they were, I would have had been able to work through the clutter more quickly. 

I chose today. I chose to choose gratefulness over grief. I chose writing over fighting. I chose tears over shit-talking and love over loss. And even though the latter still exist, jumping over timelines to choose what will get me through another day, week, year is what I will choose time after time. Choosing to change can cause tunnels of underground tornadoes but coming down from the spinning can sometimes allow your grieving heart give way to gratefulness. 

-M