Light

Light came through the smallest crack she left unmaintained,

So that one day someone could break through and see that all the complaining, 

was just a netting. 

She wore her cards close to her chest because letting him see meant she would have to fold,

and that was something she can't let God hold. 

When he showed her that her lovely heart was something worth Gold, 

light consumed her and all her sunken sorrows burned away.

They chose to say yes to heartbreak, love, and orange trees,

but with time, the cards were getting scattered and the light was dimmed causing her trees,

to die away.

Light came crashing through and sat with them in the dark,

he made promises to not stop showing her, her golden heart,

but life came breaking backwards and the light went out, the way it does.

There was no proper reseeding, or covering to be done,

just broken promises and dead oranges left as evidence with no sun.

It came and went as lightening does, but what remains is the same,

a love worth remembering and heartfelt promises kept close to her brain.

There may never be an us, but there was a trust,

a trust to know that the light they both saw was one worth letting in.  

Grateful

Choices.

We all have them. Daily, every second of everyday. We are constantly having to fight for the hard ones, defend the bad ones ands surrender to the good ones. We are delicately tip-toeing on a tight rope of choosing what can satisfy our stability. I never knew choosing could feel so conflicting, and that the act of it would cause plenty of exhales. There are many that I wish my brain batteries were fully charged for, because maybe if they were, I would have less grieving ghosts following me around. 

I chose today. I chose to choose gratefulness over grief. I chose writing over fighting. I chose tears over shit-talking and love over loss. And even though the latter still exist, jumping over timelines to choose what will get me through another day, week, year is what I will choose time after time. Choosing to change can cause tunnels of underground tornadoes but coming down from the spinning can sometimes allow your grieving ghosts to give way to gratefulness. 

-M