Floating.

I find myself diving into a pool of uncertainty. My muscles ache as my backstroke breaks into just a stroke and my arms collide with the side to find some relief. Sometimes floating is alright, it is a relief from the consant treading to keep yourself afloat from all the water that would drown you, but at least when your drowning you see more clearly. You trust the water enough to let it hold you, let it sit under you and take you upstream or downstream or wherever because you trust it. Trusting someone you just met isn't foolish, it's a risk. Sometimes you take risks to see the outcomes, other times you take risks because its a peep hole into what you can take. You were all I could take. I see it all to clearly still, I feel like I am drowning. I was just trusting the water again, learning to float, then you made a splash and drowned me.

You drowned me and didn't save me. I won't make that mistake again.

-M