I cry in front of mirrors.

I didn’t know I put you there.

Maybe that’s why every time I look for you somewhere else I can’t find you.

And everytime I hear her name I wanna reclaim you, but theres nothing to reclaim but my own awareness.

I couldn’t begin to try to go back and rearrange you because I am not too good at my own interior design, better yet yours.

The more angry I get at you, the more excuses I make for us, for what we had, for what we didn’t’ have and for what we will never have.

But here  I am, with you there, and as much distance there is, I can’t seem to separate you from my thoughts, and I don’t know if I want too.

And maybe that’s going to hurt me, maybe that’s going to cause me to evict you from there, but I went there and put you there and I don’t want to get rid of you.

So I will listen to her name and I will hear about your smiles and maybe one day I will be the one making you smile, but as long as your smiling, I will smile and I will find someone to smile with.

Just know I did put you there, I put you there first. 

-M