I have learned some intricate traits about myself these past weeks.
1. I am learning that being a nanny, isn't as fun as the movies make it out to be, but that the simplistic nature of kids heals the grieving soul more than any clove cigarette or shot of tequila.
2. Having delayed grief means that the one's you want around you, have already been there and done that. So you feel more alone than before because you are stuck in the past, when everyone's looking toward the future... but there are some that will blast to the past with you.
3. Connecting with people is key. Especially in our generation, but when it becomes a NEED, rather than a routine, that's when you need to instant message yourself and take a leave of absence. Technology is taking a toll on ourselves, if you abuse it. For me personally, I am addict. I need to have someone to connect with daily or I feel alone. That's not what God intended for me or anyone else, especially when I have a problem, I blog about it or change my status on facebook rather than going to him first.
But hey, I love blogging and FB I just need to not rely on it for comfort.
4. Apparently my need for male attention is more prominent in my life than ever. I always thought that girls who crave an obnoxious amount of attention from boys/men had daddy issues, but I guess my judgement was passed passively because I am a breathing example of a tease, rather an insecure, spinning, broken girl trying to have someone to save her. I feel God can only fill that, but trust is a heavy word, remember?
5. That despite my wavering heart with God, he constantly reminds me how I am not useless, but significant and thats why he runs me into the road like a troublesome squirrel.
-M
No comments:
Post a Comment