4am.

I wish I could pretend that you weren't a repeat, but you were.

My head said "yes," and my heart said "no."

The time your heart spent securing a space was the same amount of time mine spent securing a exit strategy with a trap door, because I must have a Plan B.

I thought I needed clarity before cutting the ties and jumping the tracks, but I think clarity is what I have, and I need to stop relabeling it to fit my suiting. 

My Wise friend Lucinda stated that he already is in the past for me, that as much as I would love to dismiss the feeling I have for him, or lack there of, I can't and now I must tie my hair back, and make sure I don't trip on my heart on the way out.

I hate feeling okay with destroying someone's heart.

I wish I could fight for us, that my repairs could lead me back to you, but bug I just don't think they will.

I am sorry I was a risk, I should have had a WARNING label on me, but I am a romantic.

I was on my way to loving you, but I got sideswiped and ran off the track, and I am sorry.

Maybe one day you will read my Blog and realize that I wasn't just being cheeky, that what I felt was real, that you were real.

-M