Dependable.

I lay in bed to fill my mind with things that my eyes cannot unwind, 

To walk across seas not yet discovered and jump through beams of hurt and contras.

I have learned the steps to make a mess and have high-fived the feelings of worthlessness.

My mind selects the skinny steps so when I fall I know it was my choice, my choice to expect the fall not his or hers or them.

My arms wrap the ideas of a healthy life in seaweed and sweat them off like a billion beads.

I lie to fill the gap of trust between the two hearts, which mounts the divider of rawness because my heart is too raw already.

I need you.

But I don't want you.

Will you consume me, because I won't make the first step, 

because I am not dependable. 

-M