Disposable.

Dispose of all the roots you planted,
cause' manmade bulbs have all been forgotten.
Push me around,
But don't look down,
at the cracks my collapse could make.
Expose my holes
but dont think of them growing larger,
from the growth you needed your self,
don't you dare point out my flaws, at least mine have been forgiven.

You revved me up, just to spin me around,
You said this was good for my soul, but all it did was take a toll.
You poked at my holes, just to leave them exposed,
when I am tired I can't seem to inspire,
so I'll write this for my health,
 maybe that will sing for itself.

-M

Meek.

Do you feel my heart beating,
its stopping and then starting,
Can you feel my skin peeling,
it slides right off and then breaks apart.
And I will circle back, for another round,
cause with no feeling, I will hit the ground.

Do you see the lies building,
their stacking tall, creating glass walls.
Can you see my mind spinning,
floating around, uncovering sounds.
And I will circle back, for another round,
cause with no sight, I risk freezing the night.

Do you taste the water running,
it drips with ease, turns into a tease,
Can you taste the air forming,
its consistency of being free, it beckons me.
And I will circle back, for another round,
cause with no taste, I fear the haze.

Do you smell it on me,
the fear inside, dives towards new life.
Can you smell it on me,
the forgetfulness, it leave a scent.
And I won't circle back, for another round,
cause I've come to my senses, no more roundabouts.

-M

Hindsight.

I climb trees in my mind, just to finally reside,

by a river where I can streamline.

I observe peoples paces as they try to deny,

that time has a way of making the blind even lie.



These days carry on just to make a new night,

cause' the moon has a way of welcoming all foreseen fights.

Then the morning drapes itself in white,

while soaking up the broken stones,

Thrown the night before.



I might have broken all of the ties,

but I still think of you from time to time.

You hang your humor out for all to see,

cause' you know with truth comes responsibility.


-M

Moments.

Do you ever look back in time to certain moments where regret and happiness collided but settled there bets to fate? I do. I think the longer I think about things, they eventually spiral out and get sucked into a vortex of awareness, which brings safety. Ever since I was little I always lived my life through circumstance. If it's meant to be it will be. Looking back now it feels like a cop out. Maybe it's my faith based background that caused me to create this safe haven. I grew up seeing my mother fight a disease that she had no control over but never ceased to stop trusting God in. Faith based freedom. I always admired that about her. I remember when I was little I would watch movie trailers on our home computer, mostly romantic comedies, late at night. I can still feel the thrill that those short moments would bring. The endless song, mixed with the culminating of love would always fill my heart just enough to get me through one sleep. At thirteen I diagnosed myself with insomnia, which every thirteen year old with a bedtime would recite some form of eventually. In actuality I was just a restless kid with a heavy heart, that hated the ends of good days. Looking back I realize that my life was filled with detrimental uncertainty and so I learned early on to identify the moments. Moments in which your heart loosens and becomes vulnerable to whatever might be asking it for its presence, because it trusts the moment in which it is in. So I built my heart strings out of different pieces of used tunes and climaxed love because to me, moments was all I had.

 I sink my soul so deeply into every space available because I think that life is just a bunch of loose ends waiting to get pulled on and sewn back together. Maybe I pay too much attention to the frayed ends and not enough to the details in the fabric. I breath my passion to capacity in glimpses of trust and maybe thats me giving my best, but I realize now that giving my best to every circumstance isn't courage, it's security. I don't want my happiness to have a time limit, I want it to breath freely in every inch of life's uncertainty, especially when I am waiting to get sewn back together, because those are the moments in which my heart will learn to be content. 

-M