I try so hard to expect the unexpected but something always spins me round and then runs away like the coward it is, and I am left finding my footing again and wondering what happened.
Letting go would be inconceivable so I am left to cook up some coping with a store bought side of doubt.
But the truth is I just want to be known, I feel thats what anybody wants sometimes, I spin myself around to find my OWN footing and all God really wants from me right now is to rest in him, he just wants to pin me down.
I feel my stomach drop like a penny off of the empire state building when I hear those certain songs that prick my perpetually healing flesh, I have no control in the matter. My thoughts let me down every time I hear these strung out sounds and in a flash I am back in the 4 bedroom house with strangers from my own blood and sighs a mile high with no outer space for them to float upon. I guess our thoughts lead us back into dark spaces to remind us of the journey, I just wish mine would send a warning flare before launch.
-M
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