Window-see-all.

            

I don't know which to do first,

break a heart or someones neck.

Of course when you feel that much pain, they might as well be the same.

Everyones telling me there is only one way.

So I scatter my eyes to find the portal of light that will match my needy mind.

Instead I find an open windowsill to rest my freckled legs upon,

and pull out the remains of past escape and breathe in the troubled air. 

I stare out in the dreary atmosphere, counting bricks just for kicks

 while reviewing the hopelessness that once was forgotten. 

I guess heartache clings to those who are near, or who fear for a better future than the one that lingers in front of her face.

The fizzing TV’s and the restless alarms bring wake to her morning and alarming the senses of future mistakes to be made, but should she think that life is one circling hamster ball of dead ends and broken kens? Could her idea life be straddled by the life that exists rather than the one she will live?

 Wait of course it is scratch the question marks and future ones because we know where the carousel ends and we have seen the happiness that comes from riding mystical creatures around and around and around till’ someone hits the stop button, not you, someone.

Thinking, winking, sinking.

I need a life vest and a breathing machine just to sink down into my unwritten heart and to be honest no one likes to read a blank slate, So they don’t and look at the emotional peep show I willingly give them, because I want to love. 

I want to love.

 I want to love and know how to love.

 So I wave to strangers and shock people with my ruthless smiles because I just want to look his way and mean it. 

-M